Time Out For Women

Time Out For Women
Back in February I received an advertisement in the mail for Time Out For Women coming to Cincinatti, OH. Sheri Dew, Jenny Oaks Baker, Hilary Weeks, Emily Watts, Wendy Watson Nelson, Kim Nelson, etc... would be coming. What a line-up!
I had been uplifted and edified at the Time Out For Women in the fall of 2006...so this definitely sounded just what the doctor would order. I immediately contacted my mom and suggested we go on this trip. She is the Relief Society President, therefore she organized a group of women from our ward to go.
We got a room at the Courtyard Marriott and shared a room with Karen Benner and her daughter Kristin Van Duren. We've known Karen and Kristin for almost 30 years, so we knew we would have a blast with them.
Complication~ Uncle Bill passed away the day before we were supposed to leave for our Girls Weekend. We decided, if ever I needed to go on this trip...it was definitely now.

Karen and Kristin laying on what ended up being our bed.

Me and my Momma!
(We joked about the genetics in the making going on here in these two pictures....definitely nuts that fell from their mother's trees :D)

See what I mean? Taking a ride on the luggage rack. We are a bunch of crazy girls :D

Our group walking to the Northern Kentucky Convention Center after eating supper at the worse McDonalds ever. The service was horrendous. Granted we know it is McDonalds and you can't expect much...but this was really bad!

Location for Time Out For Women

Suzanne Yingling made us all Time Out For Women corsages and encouraged us to wear pink, so that we would be easy to find in a crowd. She is so cute!

As Time Out For Women began on Friday evening, we were encouraged to ask ourselves, “What did I hear?, “What did I learn?, and What am I doing about it?” If we walked away with just one truth from this whole experience, then their endeavors were successful.

Kristin and Karen with Jenny Oaks Baker

Master of Music, Juilliard; former first violinist, National Symphony Orchestra; award-winning recording artist; albums include The Best of Jenny Oaks Baker, O Holy Night, and Silver Screen Serenade

Musical Performance

You don't need an entire symphony when you're listening to the violin being played by the highly acclaimed and accomplished Jenny Oaks Baker. From the fun to the serene, Jenny's repertoire of music is an impressive musical feast.

Jenny is the daughter of the twelve apostles Dallin H. Oaks. She told a funny story regarding when she met her future husband. She was passing out programs at a fireside, and she had spotted a guy that she thought was cute. She went and sat with him right before the program started, and he was showing off telling her how he knew who everyone was. He then pointed to his father on the stand and said, "That's my father. He has been a bishop several times and is now the Stake President." Jenny couldn't resist and said, "Yeah, well my father is a member of the Quorom of the Twelve Apostles." Jenny shared her inspirational stories of becoming a renowned musician and having the faith in her life to put her priorities where she thought they should be.

Her violin music was angelic. I was mesmerized just watching and listening to her play.

Sheri Dew and Wendy Watson Nelson are old friends. Sheri called Wendy up and together they told the story of Wendy following the spirit's promptings in her life, to be in the right place at the right time to meet her eventual husband. Russell M. Nelson (also of the Quorom of the Twelve Apostles)

Kristin and Karen with Wendy Watson Nelson

Wendy L. Watson Nelson holds a Ph.D. in family therapy and gerontology. Prior to her marriage to Elder Russell M. Nelson on April 6, 2006, Wendy had been a professor of marriage and family therapy for 25 years. She taught for 12 years at the University of Calgary in Calgary, Alberta, Canada, and the last 13 years at Brigham Young University—teaching doctoral and master students. In 1999 and 2000, she chaired the BYU Women’s Conference. She is the author of several books, including Rock Solid Relationships, and several talks on CD, including Things Are Not Always As They Appear.

Wendy Nelson was the first to speak to us. She was single for many years (over 60) and she had an attitude throughout her life that shouted “don’t mess with me, the Lord loves me.” She always felt the Lord’s love for her. Then she asked us what have you changed your mind on lately? And What remains true? Many things in life are changing but some things will never change, like the plan of happiness for us. Quoted 1 Peter 5:8 describing the devil as a roaring lion, walking about, seeking someone to devour. As the forces around us increase in intensity, whatever spiritual strength was once sufficient will not be enough now. Howard W. Hunter said that a woman has a superior spirituality in the marriage relationship, and the opportunity to encourage, uplift, teach and be the one who sets the examples in the family for righteous living. We made pre-mortal commitments before we came here - Things to do while I am on earth. To what did I pre-mortally agree to that Heavenly Father is honoring and is therefore not able to respond to my present request? So maybe we are asking to marry someone but Heavenly Father knows we haven’t met the ONE yet. Sister Nelson waited until she was in her 60s to meet and marry Elder Nelson. She also counseled that there is something to doing things with exactness. And we need to list those things we will never do - Not Even Once. 2^nd Timothy warns us that perilous times will come, and went on with v. 6 for of this sort are they which creep into houses, and lead captive silly women laden with sins, led away with divers lusts, ever learning and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth. This sounds like those women who watch Soap Operas or read those gossip magazines. What am I willing to commit to the Lord, that from this moment on, I will never do, not even once? OR never do again? What am I will to commit to the Lord from this moment on that I will never miss an opportunity to do? 2 Nephi 32:3 talks about feasting on the Word of the Lord and He will tell you ALL things you should do. She challenged us to take a question to the scriptures daily for 30 days. Search for the answer. It won’t take you long. She promised the answer will come. We need to make a list and where we found the answer. Sister Nelson also said that Obedience accesses the real power of the Atonement.

Kristin, Karen and Mari with Sheri Dew

Mom sharing with Sheri a way one of Sheri's talks at a Singles Conference had affected her.

Maria and Sheri Dew

Sheri Dew is a native of Ulysses, Kansas, and a graduate of Brigham Young University. She has authored several books, including the biographies of two presidents of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, Presidents Gordon B. Hinckley and Ezra Taft Benson. Her most recent books are God Wants a Powerful People and Saying It Like It Is. Sheri was named the president and CEO of Deseret Book Company in March 2002. She also serves as a member of both the BYU Marriott School of Management’s National Advisory Council and the President’s Leadership Council for BYU-Hawaii. In March 2003 the White House appointed her as a member of the U.S. Delegation to the Commission on the Status of Women and Girls at the United Nations.

Sister Sherry Dew quoted President Monson - the Lord knows who we are and where we are and what we need and what our mission is. We have the responsibility to serve as though the entire future of the church depended upon you or upon me. Sister Dew talked about the great war in heaven from Rev. 12 v. 13 says that he persecuted the woman because he knew he only had a short time. We know John was talking about the church but we could also take that to mean us women. Because the devil knows if he can get righteous women to turn away, he can win. The devil sends his “flood” (v. 15) of pornography and other filth. But also discouragement, despair, self-loathing. We fall prey to all of it. Elder D. Todd Christofferson said in the last conference, “We need strong Christians who can persevere against hardship, who can sustain hope through tragedy, who can lift others by their example and their compassion, and who can consistently overcome temptations. We need strong Christians who can make important things happen by their faith and who can defend the truth of Jesus Christ against moral relativism and militant atheism.” We are that people. Sister Dew reminded us that this is not our home. Sometimes we act as if we are going to stay here when we aren’t. We won’t. We can’t. D&C 121: 26-28 teaches that we receive knowledge through the Spirit. Satan hopes to confuse us about our identity, confuse us about the Atonement, and stop revelation. If he can do that, he can keep us from doing the work we have committed to do. She told us we need to teach who we are. D&C 138 talks about the noble and great ones. What does that have to do with me? Why, we were with them. We need to ask ourselves, “What has the Lord done for me?” Reflect and you will be amazed. There is power in the Atonement to help us with anything, whether we are lonely or in despair. We need to look in the scriptures for what He has promised to do for us. Then learn how to receive revelation. Ask the Lord to teach us - what does revelation feel like, and sound like? Learn to worship better and you will receive revelation better.

Sheri Dew and Mari Tribbet

Sheri signing Mari's book

Maria, Karen, Kristin and I with Hilary Weeks

Hilary Weeks grew up in a home filled with music. Born in Colorado, and raised in Alaska, she began playing the piano at age eight and wrote her first song at age 14. Her first recorded song, “He Hears Me,” was featured on the 1993 EFY album, and from there Hilary quickly became a favorite in the inspirational music industry. She has released seven solo albums, has been featured on numerous compilation albums, and has been the recipient of multiple awards from the Faith Centered Music Association. Her most recent albums include Hilary Weeks: The Collection and If I Only Had Today. She just published her first book, Believe in What You’re Doing, Believe in Who You Are. Hilary and her husband, Tim, reside in Lehi, Utah, with their four daughters.

She's funny and witty but has depth and substance as she shares her testimony of Jesus Christ through her songs. I was able to share with Hilary the inspiration her song "He'll Speak Peace" gave me at a difficult time during Jonathan and my separation. Often times when I felt I couldn't possibly hang on, I would play this song and find the strength to continue.

He'll Speak Peace

How do I walk through the darkness
and trust that I'll find Your hand?
Where do I look for the answers
so that somehow I will understand?

And when it feels like I am falling
When I've given the best I have
How will I know You're there?

When my heart aches, when my soul yearns
When the road seems far too long
How will I learn what you teach me
When I don't even know how I'll go on?

And when the sea of life if raging
Only You, Lord, can calm the waves
and help me know You're there.

There are times I that I can almost hear You
and it feels like You are right by my side
I need You there
to know You're there

When it feels like I am falling
When I've given the best I have
When the sea of my life is raging
Only You, Lord, can calm the waves
and help me know...
How will I know?
I need to know
You're there.

Kristin, Karen and Maria with Emily Watts
Emily Watts is a lover of words. A graduate of the University of Utah, she has been an editor for Deseret Book Company for more than thirty years, much of that time working from home part-time so she could devote most of her attention to her husband and their five children. She is now a senior editor at Deseret Book. She loves serving in the Church and has spent most of her adult life teaching in the various auxiliaries, but her favorite calling is as grandmother. Emily and her husband, Larry, live with their family in Taylorsville, Utah. She is the author of three inspirational books: Being the Mom; Take Two Chocolates and Call Me in the Morning; and Confessions of an Unbalanced Woman.

The fruits of motherhood are so agonizingly slow to ripen, it's hard to tell from day to day if the kids are going to "turn out right." Your child can be screaming her head off one moment and singing sweetly to her baby doll the next. (And no, that doesn't mean you've messed her up!) Emily has a message that assurance comes from knowing that Father in Heaven actually does trust us to raise His children. And He trusts us because He's with us every step of the way.

Emily Watts talked about Twister (my mom's favorite movie). She talked about how they tied themselves to the pipes that were sunk deep into the ground. Then when the twister came, they couldn’t be swept away. That is what we need to do with the Gospel. Sink ourselves into it so deep that we won’t ever be swept away. Heavenly Father loves our children more than we do. The Lord says we tie the knot and then we need to hold still so He can untie it. In Psalm 27:14 we are told to wait on the Lord … wait, I say, on the Lord. We didn’t get that knot in just a few moments. It may take Him some time to untie it for us. I think that is so we learn not to do that stupid thing again. If he untied it too quickly or easily, we would probably just get all knotted up again in no time. We are taught in 1 Chr. 5 some of the tribes of Israel got themselves messed up in a war. They are in the middle of a battle and they cried to God, and He was intreated of them; because they put their trust in Him. He always answers IF we trust in Him. Psalm 9:10 says they that know thy name will put their trust in thee, for thou, Lord, has not forsaken them that seek thee. We need to know His names but what are His names? We pledge to take His name upon us, some of which are Counselor, the Prince of Peace, the Creator, the Good Shepherd, the Redeemer, Teacher. Are we fulfilling that role in our lives? One of the fruits of parenting can be what we become as a person. What have we learned as parents?

Karen and Kristin with S. Michael Wilcox
S. Michael Wilcox is an instructor at the institute of religion adjacent to the University of Utah. A frequent speaker at Brigham Young University Education Week, Michael also conducts tours of the Holy Land, Church history sites, Europe, China, and Central America. He received a bachelor’s degree in English literature from Brigham Young University, a master’s in media from the University of Arizona, and his Ph.D. from the University of Colorado in educational philosophy. He is the author of House of Glory and When Your Prayers Seem Unanswered. Michael and his wife, Laura, are the parents of five children and live in Draper, Utah.

"Let us draw near..." is an invitation not just to gather together, but to gather to Him. As we come to know who Jesus Christ is, our ability and our desire to draw near to Him increase. Throughout scripture there is example after example of the personality of the Savior-a personality full of acceptance, assistance, sensitivity, and sustaining love. From the Old Testament to modern revelation, Michael helps introduce us to the Jesus we need to know.

Favorite statement from Michael: "Everything good that has every happened in my life has flowed from a woman."

S. Michael Wilcox is a teacher at BYU and a biblical expert. Brother Wilcox asked if our burdens are light, easy, or restful. The scriptures say they should be, right?
The woman who touched the hem of Christ’s garment so that she could be healed knew that this would traditionally make him unclean. They were not to be near anyone when they had an issue of blood. Think of the sorrow and desperation of this woman. No wonder she didn’t admit touching Him at first. Brother Wilcox also pointed out that another reason to repeat teachings - if you don’t catch it in the Bible, maybe you will in the Book of Mormon or in the D&C. Sometimes it is repeated 3 or more times in the same chapter (D&C 93:12 He received not of the fulness at the first; 13 He received not of the fulness at first; 14 because he received not of the fulness at the first; 16 He received a fulness of the glory of the Father.) We also see the importance of some of the acts of love given by Christ. Like when he appeared to Mary Magdelene on Easter. He had a lot of work to do and was on His way to report to the Father. But Mary was mourning even weeping. Jesus appeared to her so He could comfort her even though He had something very important to do. He stopped and took time to comfort. Everything He did was an example to us. In fact, the highest form of Worship is imitation.
"Look unto Me, Learn, Listen."
Brother Wilcox said the greatest discovery of life for men is that the woman you love - loves you in return. Equally great is the discovery that the God you love - loves you even More. Many women find themselves trying to do way too much. Brother Wilcox said that is because you are too lazy to decide what is really important. You are trying to do everything and therefore do none of them well.
Obedience is not perfection, obedience is trying.

(We had pictures of every one of the speakers...then mistakenly Kim's pic was deleted off of my camera :(
Kim Nelson, a graduate of Brigham Young University, has a master’s degree in counseling from Seattle Pacific University. He served a mission to the Southwest Indian Mission and is currently a counselor in the Bellevue Washington stake presidency. Kim is the president of Stillwater Connection, a consulting firm in Bellevue, Washington. He is the author of If God Loves Me, Why This? and Happily Forever After: A Practical Guide for LDS Couples Who Want to Improve, Grow, and Share An Eternal Relationship. He and his wife, Lois, have two daughters and three grandchildren.

Do you remember the first time you rode a bike without training wheels? How did it go? Did you fall once or twice? Did you have a few bruises to show it? Every life phase has a period of "training time" before we should expect to ride without falling. God, as the ultimate parent, seems to be more patient with our "training time" than we are. Kim teaches four truths that will help you put the falls and the bruises of life in a little better perspective as you see God's love in your experiences.

Kim, comedic in his presentation helped us to understand just how precious women are to our Heavenly Father and to the men who are honored to have her in their lives.

Kim Nelson talked about teaching children to ride a bike. We run right alongside them so if they start to fall, we are right there. God knows we are going to Fall. But He is the first one at the wreck. Each wreck we have is another chance to reconnect to the Lord. Brother Nelson asked a very poignant question, “If you saw a mother treating her daughter like you treat yourself, what kind of a mother would you think she is?” We are so hard on ourselves but we need to see ourselves as Heavenly Father sees us. Part of the reason we are parents is so we can understand the love we experience by Deity.
Do we stop loving our child just because they did something wrong, even something dreadfully wrong? Or do we rush to them and try to help them make it all better? God loves us as we are - not perfect.

He told about a student who got a B on his report card and feared to go home. When the parents found the child, they embraced him and took him home. We need to remember, just because we didn’t pass our class here on earth doesn’t mean we can’t come home.

Karen, Kris Belcher and Kristin
Kris could tell Karen and Kristin were much shorter than she is (she's 6 ft tall)...so she stooped down to their level right when I was taking the picture.
Kris Belcher was born and raised in northern California and was the fourth of six children. She earned her bachelor’s degree in therapeutic recreation from Brigham Young University and served as a missionary in the Kentucky Louisville Mission. When Kris isn’t cleaning up the house, attacking the piles of laundry, or taking care of her children, she loves to watch or read a Jane Austen movie or book. She’s always game for a good chicken chimichanga with guacamole, and loves to spend time with family and friends. Kris met her husband, James, through a mutual friend (although James claims they met when he called 1-900-BABE), and they were married in the Salt Lake Temple. They are the parents of two energetic boys and own a flower shop in Lehi, Utah.
Born with a rare form of eye cancer, Kris has spent most of her life blind in one eye. Recently, cancer returned, leaving her completely without sight. While her life circumstances might be unique, her story of healing doesn't have to be. Kris is blind, but she has experienced a healing-the kind of healing that comes through personal testimony of the mercy and grace of Jesus Christ. She shares how similar healing is available to all of us, regardless of our circumstances.
Kris Belcher concluded the conference. Yes, her name is a riot and she did a whole monologue on having belcher as her last name. She assured us he was worth it. "We have all heard that He won’t give you anything you can’t handle." She says "that is NOT true. He does it all the time. The truth is He won’t give us anything He can’t handle with us." D&C 122:9 Hold on thy way. Just hold on while He works with us. We are being fitted for another world. If we prayed away the hard parts, we wouldn’t be fit for the new world.

Our Time Out For Women Group
Back row: Maria Simons, Denise Dewey, Leslie Lake, Suzanne Yingling
Front row: Mari Tribbet, Carole Bennett, Karen Benner, Kristin Van Duren, Nancy Foltz, and Martha Pilbeam

A cool building right outside the Convention Center

A shot outside the Convention Center of Downtown Cincinatti, across the river

The bridges going across The Ohio River

I walked away from my Time Out For Women experience uplifted and edified. I felt renewed in who I am as a woman, the role I have to fulfill, and my Heavenly Father's unending love and care for me. It was the gift I needed...just when I needed it most.