Hold them a little tighter

Sadly, there have been some unfortunate tragedies that have occurred around the boys in the last few weeks. One of Dylan's friends at Arbor Hills was hit by a car while he was riding on his skateboard. His injuries were too great and he didn't make it. This was the first time that an untimely death had come into my children's life. In their memories...they have only lost great grandparents. Though those losses were felt deeply, it was understandable to them...their grandparents had lived a good life and now it was time to return to their Heavenly Father. On the other hand, losing a friend that is their age adds a whole new dynamic to their once innocent lives.

Dylan really mourned the loss of his friend, Reid. He suddenly recognized that mortality was something that truly faces all of us. The school was wonderful about coming in and talking with the kids and providing grief counselors for anyone who felt the need to "talk to someone". Dylan had wanted to go to Reid's funeral, but when the time came he backed out. I'm sure it was intimidating to anticipate what going to Reid's funeral might be like for him. I didn't push him to go...wanting him to determine how he wanted to "deal" with his own grief and how he was feeling.

The following week I read in the obituaries that there was another student (this time from Northview...but we had known him from years past) had died "accidentally". I was mortified. This young man is the brother of a very good friend of Kyle's. Kyle eats lunch with him everyday. Adam has been such a good friend to Kyle and really seems to overlook Kyle's "differences". When I initially read the obituary, I didn't put two and two together to figure out that this was Adam's brother. I was shocked when Kyle mentioned something to me concerning Adam's brother dying. Thankfully, Kyle's teacher recognized that Kyle was close to Adam and spoke to him about appropriate things to say and how to be a good friend to Adam right now. Kyle doesn't quite comprehend the ramifications of it all, but Dylan is very aware of all of the circumstances surrounding Jeffrey's death bringing even more questions and concerns to the table.

My heart breaks for these families who have lost their "little ones" way too soon. It is a concept difficult for me to even begin to comprehend. I know for a surety that I want so much more time with my boys...and know the devastation I would feel to lose them so soon. I think about Grandma who has lost as many children as I have (one at a year old--she got into the iron pills and overdosed, her 9 year old son--who was following his older brothers on his bike and was hit by a car, her son in his 40's who died from cancer, and yet another son who took his own life when he was almost 40). I can only imagine the grief that she has had to endure and would engulf me to experience such great loss.

It is in these moments when I realize the importance of never taking a single thing for granted. I enjoy so many of the little things...the way my children say certain things, their enthusiasm, their ideas, their mannerisms, their touch, everything about them. I came across this poem that accurately says these things for me...

Touch
by Kathie Davis

Mothers, touch your children,
Fathers, hug them tight,
Let them know you love them
morning, noon, and night.

Put your arms around them,
hold them near to you,
Feel the beating of their hearts,
the life that you made new.

Roll around the floor with them,
tease and laugh and play,
Listen to what they'll tell you,
they have so much to say.

Take time to get to know them,
see the colors in their eyes,
Appreciate that person
that deep inside them lies.

Let them run their fingers through your hair
and down your face,
Fill their hearts with words of praise,
make home their favorite place.

Cuddle with them on the couch
and watch a t.v. show,
Sing with them or share a book
and help their world to grow.

Take a walk into the park,
hold each other's hand,
Smell the flowers, feed the ducks,
build castles in the sand.

Mothers, touch your children,
Fathers, hug them tight,
Show them what a gift they are,
to love them feels so right.

I truly hope that we all recognize how precious these moments are for each of us. Not only do I treasure my little ones, my husband, and my family...but I treasure each and every one of you who make such an incredible difference in my life in what may seem to you as small and insignificant ways...but to me these are the ways that truly matter.