Thursday, January 1, 2009

Reflections and New Beginnings

At this time of the New Year it is difficult not to reflect back on the last year we have just experienced. I have noticed in my communications, many others who have waved good-bye to this last year...relieved to have 2008 over with. I, on the other hand, feel quite differently.

2008 was a year of great change for our family. We started the year, having just relocated again from Utah to Toledo. Our marriage and family were hanging in the balance...and I couldn't see any other alternative in store for us, but the eventual dissolution of so many things that Jonathan and I had built up together in our marriage. Even though I was unable to see any other alternatives, there was one thing that I had become certain of. I had discovered that I didn't have all of the answers (2007 had definitely taught me that concept quite clearly) and I needed to trust the "One" who did.

In the beginning of the year, I began going through the motions of re-establishing employment at my old job, getting the kids settled back into their schools and lives here, and keeping myself open to the "messages" that might come my way. The road I thought I was on really began to change its direction. Before I knew it, healing was taking place in wounds I didn't think could be healed. As these wounds healed, my perspective began changing and the vision I once had began to change all together. I began to feel the true power of prayer all around me.

When I initially decided to return to Toledo, Jonathan's greatest hope was this might be the way toward reconciliation for us. I on the other hand, couldn't even begin to wrap my mind around even beginning to go down that road again. As my vision began to change...the possibilities of what I might be able to do, began to change along with it.

By the beginning of Spring, I was ready to give "us" another try. Terrifying as the prospect might be, I honestly believed that we had learned some very necessary lessons and just maybe we could let all of the past "yuck" go and begin moving forward. After all, our marriage and family deserved every attempt we could muster to make our lives together as a couple and family happy.

I was certainly skeptical at first, but it wasn't long in to reconciling, when I realized how much healing had truly taken place and how great Jonathan and I could be together. As time continues one, we have continued to grow closer together in strengthening our friendship and marriage. The ramifications of this choice has made for a much more peaceful and happier life for everyone in our household.

Children need both of their parents. They need their parents to love and respect one another. By so doing, it creates security and contentment in all those affected. "Contentment" has long been a concept difficult for me to come by. I can't remember a time when I haven't had difficulty finding contentment in my circumstances. It seems no matter what I had or where I was, I was always waiting for more or wanting what I didn't have. For the first time in my life...I have discovered contentment in my life and it feels really good.

This last year, we have had our share of challenges. But perspective has taught us that whatever challenges come our way...these challenges don't defeat us or define us. We have everything we need because we have our family. That's all that really matters.

So as we look forward to this 2009 New Year...we do so with eager anticipation. There are certainly goals that should be made to improve ourselves physically, spiritually, mentally, and emotionally. There will be challenges that greet us. But we realize that our blessings are so abundant, that we can't help but anticipate another great year!

Happy New Year! We hope that this will ever be a happy, healthy and prosperous year for all.


Jeannetta said...

Beautiful. I can feel how blessed you are, your contentment is tangible, even way over here in Oregon--and that's Ory-GUN for you Toledoans! lol

Happy New Year!